Here’s a Cuppa Grace for you, weary mama!

Hey, mamas, here is a big CUPPA GRACE from one mom in the trenches to the next.
 
It’s been one of those days. It started so beautifully, as seen by my pretty Instagram picture of my Bible and coffee. I was up really early and prayed for my kids and our day. I was feeling all on top of things. Hopeful. Even joyful to be awake so early.
 
And then my kids woke up. It’s sorta been downhill from there.
 
Ahem. You know by now that pictures aren’t always what they seem, right?? You know I love God’s Word and I love my quiet time in the morning but you know I have bad days too?? Today has been one of those days where I have especially questioned every single decision more than I do on other days when I just kind of overthink everything. 😉
 
Maybe we *should* put them in school. Why *did* we give our kids devices? (They are currently without said devices and it may be awhile before they get them back. More second guessing.) How can I really do this mom thing and do it well? What am I thinking? Maybe our relationships would be better if we weren’t together 24/7. Maybe we need a break. Maybe I need a break. Maybe I should start a savings account for all the counseling my kids are going to need. How can I know what would have been better? How can I rest in this decision? Maybe this was a bad decision. Maybe I’ve failed them in this area…and on and on and on.
 
And you know what the answer is to all of my questions? JESUS.
I know this answer and I pray with all my heart that my kids know I’m desperate for Jesus and that I don’t have it all figured out. I hope that when I’m a failure as a mom my failings point them to a God that will never fail them.
 
So, moms who homeschool and moms who chose public school…this grace is for you. Moms who destest devices and moms who love technology in their home…this grace is for you. Moms who have pinterest perfect parties but carry the weight and fear of failure, this grace is for you. Moms who wish they could have pinterest parties, this grace is for you. Moms who don’t care about pinterest parties but just wish they could have any kind of celebration with their child today, this grace is for you. Moms who are doing this alone, this grace is for you.

 
Jesus is FOR YOU. You are loved. I am loved. Let’s show that same love and grace to each other. WE NEED EACH OTHER and that GRACE so desperately. We are all just making our way home. Let’s share a CUPPA GRACE together. <3

The Talk: Relationships (Introductory Sale Price)

I am always looking for Biblical resources to teach my kids about life, relationships, and everything in between — like sex. I also love sharing resources with you when I find an excellent one! This new title called The Talk: Relationships is 11 lessons to give kids a greater understanding of Biblical sexuality. It is written for ages 11-14. I admit that this is a hard topic for me to discuss with my kids. So, if you’re like me, this might be a helpful resource for you, too!

This product is launching TODAY and is on sale for $9 in digital format. (Regular price for the digital book will be $11.95.) You can also purchase the hardback copy on Amazon here!

Luke and Trisha Gilkerson are the authors of this new resource and they also have other materials that I have used in the past, too.

More Biblical Resources for Parents

This book is for kids ages 6-10 and introduces basic concepts, such as the differences between male and female anatomy, how babies are conceived and grow in the womb, and the importance of saving sex until marriage.
This book is geared towards kids ages 8-12 and introduces children to the physical and emotional changes that puberty brings.
This book is designed for parents to use with their children ages 11+, Relationships gives parents talking points about how to steward one’s own sexual desires. Topics include information about guarding one’s heart, lust, masturbation, pornography, modesty, homosexuality, and pursuing godly friendships.

What Information is in the Study?

Relationships is a book geared towards kids 11 years old and up. It will delve into a number of topics:

  • Lesson 1 looks at the original goodness of sexuality and marriagerelationships as God created them.
  • Lesson 2 addresses how sin has brought about sexual brokennessinto the world, including our propensity to lust.
  • Lesson 3 exposes the varieties of sexual and relational temptationsin the world: from masturbation to pornography use to homosexual activities.
  • Lesson 4 covers three biblical strategies for avoiding and overcoming lust.
  • Lesson 5 discusses how we should guard our hearts from sexual and relational idolatry.
  • Lesson 6 talks about how we need to make a covenant with our eyes to avoid temptation.
  • Lesson 7 talks about the importance of fleeing sexually tempting situations.
  • Lesson 8 addresses the biblical strategy of pursuing intimacy with God and cultivating gratitude for wholesome pleasures.
  • Lesson 9 discusses the importance of being wise in our opposite-sex friendships.
  • Lesson 10 addresses the value of accountability relationships.
  • Lesson 11 gives students and their parents a picture of the life-transforming grace of God for sexual sinners.

Read more about the entire series from Luke & Trisha Gilkerson!

 

When All You Want To Do Is Fix The Problem…

A Prayer for When You Want To Fix It All

Parenting and homeschooling haven’t come easy to me. (I know, they don’t come easy for you, either.) I am nearly constantly flooded with the thought that I need to find the answer that will solve our problems. Oh, I don’t say it quite like that in my mind…

But, when we have a rough day, I get online and start googling. I ask friends. I look for new programs. I look for a book. I look for an answer.

Yet, God, in His infinite wisdom, whispers to my heart…

“Look to me, I am the answer, gaze at my face and not your problem. I don’t want you to fix your problems, I want to fix your heart.”

I am an over-thinker and a researcher by nature. I want to find the best curriculum. The #1 parenting book. The best way to clean my cabinets. The best remedy for my child’s sickness. An easy fix for my broken heart.

When I get so focused on the problem and trying to fix it, I begin to lose sight of God.

And when I lose sight of God, I lose sight of the fact that He has called me to love my children and not fix them. In fact, He hasn’t called me to fix myself either. Why do I even begin to think that I can? 

Why do I think there is one big answer sitting out there that will solve all my problems? As a mother, I should know by now that life is a journey…my children are on a journey too, they won’t be fixed or perfected with a new discipline method or formula or 3 easy steps.

God is working on their hearts like He is working on mine.

So, let’s make a pact. You and I.

The Vow for All Wanna Be Fixers 

Today, I vow to look more at Christ than I do my problems.

Today, I vow to scroll through God’s Word more than I scroll through social media.

Today, I vow to love my child right where he is and not keep looking at what is wrong with him.

Today, I vow to encourage hearts, mine included, without critically looking at every issue.

Today, I vow to let a trial turn my eyes to Jesus and not google.

Today, I vow to remind myself that I am not the God of the universe sent to fix all my family’s problems.

Today, I vow to preach the gospel to myself because I need the good news as much as my children do.

A Prayer for All Wanna Be Fixers

Lord, we confess to You our shortcomings.

We confess to You that we often try to take Your job by fixing it all.

We acknowledge You as God and trust You as Lord over all.

Help us in our weakness, Father, to relinquish what we think of as control and allow You to lead us and guide us in Your truth.

God, remind us that there is freedom in letting go and trusting You.

You are so trustworthy and faithful.

Amen.

When I Just Want to Fix It All PDF

When I Just Want to Fix It All

 

Loving Our Kids on Purpose: Chapter 5 & Conclusion

 

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“It was for freedom that Christ set us free…for you were called to freedom, brothers; only do not turn your freedom into an opportunity for the flesh, but through love serve one another.” Galatians 5:1, 13

“Because love is the whole purpose for freedom, freedom is destroyed when we use it for anything else…Unless we are using our freedom to love God and one another, we simply won’t be able to walk in freedom and cultivate an environment of freedom around us. And we won’t be able to love one another well and cultivate healthy relationships if we are not working to protect and honor each person’s responsibility of self-control, which is the heart of freedom.” from chapter 5 of Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk

Why are we given freedom in Christ? Galatians tells us our freedom is given to us for the purpose of loving and serving one another.

What does this look like in our homes? By teaching our children how to make wise choices – by giving them good choices and asking good questions, we are teaching them to walk in the Spirit and in the freedom we have in Christ.

One section in chapter 5 is called “The Power of Questions” and this is something I REALLY need to get better at! “Asking a good question is a far more powerful tool in leading children to a solution than telling them what you think…” I need to be better at this instead of always telling my kids my opinion right away.

Loving Our Kids on Purpose Book Discussion

Let’s Discuss

Why is it so vital that we communicate our faith in our children in the midst of his/her failures?

What is the difference between punishing people for making a mess and actually cleaning up the mess?

What are some things that you desire for your children to grow in that they will only step into through their heart-to-heart connection with you?

As we finish up this book I would LOVE to hear any lessons you gleaned or truths you were reminded of from this book!! I’m so thankful I took the time to read it again!! What a great book.

Find all the posts on this book here.

Loving Our Kids on Purpose: Chapter 4

 

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“Yes, children really are people. And if we fail to honor the truth that the only person who can control you is you when we interact with our children, we are inviting them to prove it to us. If you say, ‘Get over here right now,’ even a compliant child can demonstrate to you that you don’t control her. She simply dictates the speed at which she complies. That’s when we start reaching for hammers, for ways to intimidate our kids in order to convince them that we do control them. But it’s a lie, and as long as it guides your actions, you will keep manufacturing ways to convince people to give their self-control to you. When you do, you effectively train your children to be controlled by andy, aggressive people or whiny, manipulative people, and try to control others in the same way.” from Chapter 4 of Loving Our Kids on Purpose by Danny Silk

Oh this truth that has been a theme in this book has been so convicting for me. I can’t control my children. I can’t make them do anything. I learned this especially when I had a particularly strong willed child around the age 3-4years old. I learned quickly that I actually could not make her do anything. Sometimes consequences just don’t work.

What I wish I had learned then is that had I worked on building a loving relationship with this child instead of getting angry that she wasn’t compliant and doling out discipline and consequence time after time, often in anger, things might have been a little different and improved with time.

Another aspect of this is something we really need to work on. Not letting others control us by making us angry, frustrated, etc. This goes back to chapter 3, “can I control myself even when my children are misbehaving?” Am I going to GIVE AWAY my self-control?? I don’t want to do that.

I have tried and tried to tell my kids that if you will ignore it when someone is bugging you they will stop. But for some reason my kids have trouble with this. And we have lots and lots of annoying sibling behavior toward each other. I’m convinced if they all acted like it didn’t bother them all the annoying behavior would stop. LOL!! I need to help my kids understand that regardless of what their sibling is doing to them, they still have control of their own reaction and attitude!

Facebook Live Video on Chapter 4

Loving Our Kids on Purpose Book Discussion

Let’s Discuss

Have you ever believed that your feelings control you and you’re incapable of changing them? I have. It’s been a difficult paradigm to shift.

How can we help our children understand their own FREEDOM to make WISE choices?

Find all the posts on this book here.