Learning from Mark Hamby {TTD notes}

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I’ve heard Mark Hamby speak several times now. I’ve bought his sessions on audio. I’ve listened to them several times. Each and every time I am amazed at how God speaks directly to me regarding something in my parenting style or relationship that needs to change. God has spoken to me through Mark Hamby several times. I would highly, highly recommend listening to him if you are able. His talk that is the most powerful is now called The Strong Willed Parent.  (It used to be something like Don’t Crush Them Down…) If you find it by either title on audio, snatch it up. 🙂

This time, however, I heard a different talk and it was just as good. This talk was called Let Go or I’ll Break Your Leg. I thought this talk was going to be about sibling fighting and relationships, and that’s why I went. But, it was about parent and child struggles, and I needed this session as much or more than what I originally thought I needed! The “breaking leg” reference is from the scripture where Jacob is wrestling in the night with the Man…

There are so many great things I jotted down while listening to this talk…I hope one of these points will speak to you or encourage you also. I think it would be best to hear it for yourself, but maybe some of these notes will encourage you also!

Responsibilities and chores cannot be more important than our relationships with our kids. He told the story of a mom with a teenage daughter who came to him for counseling. The parents were distraught because they could not get their daughter to make their bed for anything. For YEARS they had been fighting EVERY single morning about this child making her bed. They were concerned that she was not obedient. This whole “making the bed” scenario was literally ruining their relationships.

Mark Hamby was very point blank and clear with these parents. He told them to STOP asking her to make the bed. Stop mentioning the bed. Stop thinking about the bed. He told them the next morning they needed to go up to her room (not shout) and say good morning to her sweetly and ask what she wanted for breakfast. The parents couldn’t remember the last time they had even had a pleasant breakfast because the bed had become such an issue. When they did this, their whole relationship began changing.

It cannot be about the bed…or the sweeping…or the math. We can’t let it be about that. 

We have to win our kids hearts…and after we already have a good relationship with them, they will want to help more around the house or with you.

• Blessing in the Bible was unconditional commitment, backing an heir to enable success.
• There are 2 kinds of people in this world: Jacobs and Esaus.
• Jacob – always wanting to hold on to what is not his, controlling, hates to be alone, prone to depression, grasping after things, insecure
• Esau – sacrifice anything and everything for peace, needs security, doesn’t like to argue
• Rebekah makes a mess of things because she tries to control a situation that wasn’t hers to control. She was trying to manipulate her husband and the whole situation.
• Manipulative people are desperate to hold on to others because they are looking for unconditional acceptance.
• The children and husband God has given me, where we live, where we work, where we minister – God has given this life we live to teach  us about our nature and grow us.
• Whatever you are facing – it is by God’s design. God has given us gifts in the hardships.
• The more pain you endure, the more blessing you receive.
• Children and spouses will follow humility more than authority!!

I was so blessed to be able to attend the Teach Them Diligently homeschool conference in Nashville last weekend. I shared about how God wanted me there and provided all the necessary items: room, ride, conference fee. And I’m so thankful. The sessions I attended were so fabulous, I wanted to share all my notes with you!!

Here are the speakers, I will go back after this series and link them all together:

• Clay & Sally Clarkson
• Pam Tebow
• Mark Hamby
• Norm Wakefield
• Deb Bell