5 Books for Discussing Purity & Puberty with Tweens

 

Lately I have been bombarded with resources, books, discussions and prayers about how best to talk with my girls about puberty, purity, sex and all of that. I will admit, this hasn’t been easy, but with the culture we live in today we simply cannot just ignore the issue. My girls will soon be turning 12 years and 11 years. This is really past the age I would have introduced some of these things had my girls been attending public school. I am blessed that our church is collectively doing these purity classes right now. I am going to a  Mother/Daughter class for middle school aged girls. There are age appropriate classes for everyone.

Before these classes started, I had already sloooowly begun this journey. I will share below about the ages that we used these books and will continue using them. My growing up family didn’t really discuss these things at all. I know that is pretty much the norm for a lot of my generation folks and older. But, I wanted my girls {especially} to be better prepared for what was going to happen to their bodies. I wanted them to have a Biblical view of their bodies and sex and all that God created us to do. I want them to know how beautiful they are…because of who God has made them to be on the inside first and foremost.

Before I get to these favorite books of mine, I want to state the obvious. ha! Please don’t neglect praying about these discussions, praying for your girls, praying WITH your girls. The Lord may lead you to another resource, the Lord may lead you to another discussion…I don’t share these because it is the ONLY way to go about this. I share this because I feel rather clueless in all this and having some resources given to me by others has been tremendously helpful for me. I pray it is for you too.

My Favorite Books for Discussing Puberty & Purity

 

1. American Girl Body Book ~  The Care and Keeping of You ~ we started this book several years ago. Probably between 8-9 years old. These days, there are girls starting their periods at age 9. I wanted mine to be prepared and not scared. This book really only goes over the parts of a girl’s body and what happens as the body begins to change during puberty. (There are a few more “graphic” illustrations in this book that I know some moms have had issues with. Look at the pictures yourself and decide if you and your daughter are ready for this.) 
2. God’s Design for Sex Series ~ this series is excellent. Actually, my favorites are the first 2 books, The Story of Me  and Before I Was Born . We’ve read about 1/2 the 3rd book, but I love, love the first 2 picture books that are for YOUNGER children and introducing them to the body that God gave them and why He created sex. The first book in the series says it is intended for kids ages 3-5 years old. I personally think that age 3 would be a bit young. The second book is intended for ages 5-8 years. And again, I think the recommendations are a tad on the young stage. The 2nd book talk about the differences in how God created man and woman. The book talks about the gift of sex given to married couples. And there is a drawing of a baby being born. These drawings are very gentle and lovely. But, there is your warning. 🙂
3. Preparing Your Daughter for Every Woman’s Battle ~ this is the book we are doing with our church group. While I am in this class with my daughters, other groups are doing Preparing Your Son for Every Man’s Battle, Every Man’s Battle, Every Woman’s Battle, Every Young Woman’s Battle. This book is very, very in-depth and I would not recommend for girls who are not going through puberty yet. But, in all honesty, once kids/youth get to that point, they need to be given this information. This culture is saturated with sex, body image problems and porn. We have got to prepare our children for what is ahead. The book we are using covers topics like girls getting their first periods, what each of the female parts actually does, other body changes during puberty. It also has a section just for moms and then  a section for you to read with your daughter. The book shares with the young girls that they are princesses in the eyes of God and princesses should act in certain ways and that they have certain rights. {learning to say no, getting out of dangerous situations, etc.}
4. Perfectly Unique: Praising God from Head to Foot – I absolutely LOVE the message of this book. This book talks about how uniquely your body was made, BY GOD, FOR A PURPOSE. I love that. This book shares verses about who we are in Christ, about how to not listen to the lies we tell ourselves about our bodies, and some points to ponder at the end of each chapter. This book also shares ways to praise and glorify God with the body He has given us.
5. Raising a Lady in Waiting – this is a new book that I am really excited about. Would you believe I read the ORIGINAL Lady in Waiting when I was a teen? So when I saw very recently that the author had come out with a book for parents along this same topic, I knew I had to try it. The author states that this book should be read by any mom “with breath in her lungs who is keenly aware of the negative impact of our culture on our precious girls. Our culture encourages girls to put more effort into finding the right pair of jeans than the right kind of man!” Oh how true (and heartbreaking) that is to me. This book talks about preparing our daughters to focus not so much on finding the right man, but on becoming the right woman. Each chapter in this book deals with a different virtue that we should be helping our daughters to gain. Virtues such as reckless abandon for the Lord, diligence, faith, devotion, purity, contentment, conviction and more. There are questions for discussion with each chapter. This is the book I plan to start reading with my girls as soon as we finish the Every Man’s Battle classes at church. I love so much that the author chooses to focus on what we become, as women, as opposed to finding the “right guy.”

 

One Bonus Item

Preparing for Adolescence CD Pack: How to Survive the Coming Years of Change ~ This isn’t a book so I thought I would list it separately. This is a set of audio CDs that we have been listening to with our children in the van when we have longer trips. This is Dr. Dobson speaking to us as families and to adolescents. What I like about this set of CDs is that it talks about the EMOTIONAL turmoil that can accompany puberty and teenage-dom. He talks about roller coaster emotions, insecurities many teens have, feelings of inferiority, etc. We have not gone through this WHOLE set yet, because we are stopped at the point where it begins to talk more about sex. We wanted to listen to that with the girls first and wait 2-3 years for Caleb, who is 8 years old. But the first 2 CDs have been great thus far and have brought up things that I would not have thought to discuss with my kids.

If Your Girl Hasn’t Hit Puberty Yet

And one last recommendation. 🙂 If your girl is under the age of 8-9 years old and hasn’t started going through puberty yet, that doesn’t mean you are exempt from this topic. 🙂 A book that I read with my girls and used is called The Princess and the Kiss: A Story of God’s Gift of Purity. I think the workbook (Life Lessons from the Princess and the Kiss ) that goes along with this book is really my favorite part about this book. It is very well done and would make for a very sweet mommy-daughter time together.

Create in Me a Pure Heart.pdf @mercyisnew.com