I love sitting in the dark gazing at the lights on Christmas trees. This year we have a new Christmas tree. Our old one was a bit ragged, and so last year after Christmas I got one for 75% off. It looked like a nice one in the box, however when we pulled it out and put it together, we realized it was awfully “bare” looking. Just not very full, you can see straight into the “trunk” of the tree and at first I was a bit disappointed.
However, as I’ve looked at our tree and began to love it, God has shown me a few things about this tree and how much it is like me. A Christmas tree like me?
By looking at the box, this Christmas tree was very pretty! The picture on the front was close to perfect, I’d say. If you were to meet me, you *might* have at one time (maybe years ago)thought that I have it all together too. (though hopefully by now you all know differently!) But, the “picture” I put on the front of myself often looks much different than what you see on the outside. I’m not often willing to brag about my weaknesses or inadequacies.
Honestly, as God has grown me, I have realized that I’d rather you see straight to my “trunk.” I’d rather you see all the holes in me that make me so much less than perfect. If you looked closely enough you’d see many, many holes. You’d see that without His touch, I’m not much to look at.
As I’ve added ornaments, I’ve pondered over the memory that each holds. And, miraculously, as the tree fills up, it begins to look lovely. Not perfect, mind you, but lovely. I can still see a few holes, and I haven’t been able to fill up all the spots of emptiness…but I don’t want to anymore. I want to leave a few holes.
I don’t want to cover all the holes in the tree, and I don’t want to cover all the holes in me. Because when you see the ugliness in me, then, as God adds His ornaments — His love, joy, peace, goodness…His loveliness begins to shine through. When you see what I once was, you know that it is only God who can make anything beautiful out of our lives. It is only Him who can fill the holes in our lives. It is only Him who can fill the emptiness.
Are the ornaments of His grace filling you up? What holes are left that need His touch? This Christmas my decorations may not look perfect, but that is ok…I’m not perfect either. I’m becoming more and more OK with that. I realize that in my weakness He is made strong. And it is His strength and His perfection that I need in my life. It’s all about Him anyway.
Being at home in my comfort zone homeschooling and being a wife and mom gives me so many opportunities to see that ugliness come out. We are all so ugly without Him. I may try to have the pretty face on (which is easier to do if we are out “in the real world” but being at home gives me daily…moment by moment practice on giving my whole self to Him knowing it is only through him that any beauty shines through. This year I plan to read through the bible (my first time) although I have been a Christian since I was 4. My focus will be on the fruits of the spirit…and hopefully they will be of greater evidence in my life.
Love this!
What a great reflection, Candace. I know that my imperfections scream to me, but you never know what others might ‘see’ when looking at you. I love looking at the lights as well, but just gave away our large artifical tree and will make due with a small one this year.
What a beautiful post Candace. Thank you for it.
Beautiful reflection. You are right, we should glory in our weaknesses, because in them His strength is made perfect.
Great thoughts, Candance. In real life, my Christmas tree is totally stuffed with ornaments – but that’s a bit like my life feels – cluttered with happiness!
But you are so right that we’ve got to keep it real (even though my tree is fake).
I think you might have inspired me to do my own post!
What a beautiful post. Thanks for sharing!
What a wonderful post, very thoughtful. Thanks for sharing this.