A Journey – Part 1

So, this is not going to be a beautifully written, well-worded post. (Not that I have too many of those to begin with, ha!) But, this blog has documented a journey I have been on for the past few years. A journey through motherhood, depression, homeschooling, insecurities…and learning to give it all to God in prayer. Wow. What a ride it has been. If you’ve been around for long, you know that a few years ago I could not even say the word “depression” out loud. And now, just look at me! A whole page dedicated to the topic, a whole category…and I could just shout it from the mountaintops…

I STRUGGLE WITH DEPRESSION. BUT, by the GRACE OF GOD, I HAVE HOPE. Not of myself, nothing in me…but all by His grace and mercy, that is new every morning. I don’t share to bring attention to myself, I share because I feel very strongly that God has asked me to be transparent about this struggle with the hope of encouraging others who also struggle. Great is His faithfulness. I have walked through this valley time and time again…but God has always been so faithful to me and because of that, I can say with certainty that I trust Him.

Through this blog I have been able to journal my feelings, share scriptures that have encouraged me…and really just begin to scratch the surface on learning how to process all that God has made me to be. I wish I could say I am even close to where He wants me to be…but, like I said, it’s a journey…and it is one that I know I will be on til I see my sweet Savior face to face. I’m becoming more and more at peace with that fact.

So, a few new things that God is showing me about my fears and dreams started with the first few chapters of the book Strong Women, Soft Hearts that I am reading with the Bloom book club. After the 3rd chapter, a question that was posted on the Bloom forum was about dreams and letting them die. They asked, is there a dream that you had to let die?

I admit, this question kind of caught me off guard. I don’t think very often about dreams that I have. But, as I was watching the video on chapter 3 that Angie and Jessica put up, something hit me square in the face. A fear that I have never acknowledged. (In fact, I have gone so far to say that I don’t really struggle with fear at all. ha!) I didn’t even realize I had this fear.

And this particular fear has also led to the realization of a dream that I once had that now seems hopeless. At least in my human eyes it does…

to be continued…