Real Life Homeschooling #11

This week we are blessed to have a guest post from Lexi who blogs about their somewhat classical, slightly eclectic, and mostly crazy homeschool at Lextin Academy! 

But what about socialization??  How many times have you been confronted with that question?  I’ve heard it more times than I can count!  I now choose to just smile and nod and ignore.  I could respond that I don’t believe forced socialization in a school setting is a healthy form of socialization.  Or I could talk about all the activities that are available to homeschool families.  Or I could just keep my mouth shut.  I do the latter.

As a homeschool family we have many opportunities to be involved in community, church, and other outside enrichment activities.  We could be out and about daily, enjoying all forms of socialization.  Or we could spend most of our days at home.  Better yet, we could find the balance between outside activities and dedicated at-home school time.  I’m still searching for that one……

But what I’ve found as a homeschool mom is that despite all the opportunities I have for get- togethers, field trips, activities, co-ops, and mom groups I often feel lonely.  Homeschool kids can be very well socialized but sometimes I feel like I’m actually the unsocialized one!  What about the homeschool mom?

I have a house full of little people and yet I can feel alone.  Interacting with my pint size crew is not a replacement for adult interaction and sometimes I just don’t get enough adult time.

Homeschoolers are a busy bunch.  The poor homeschool mom is pressed for time between lesson planning, curricula shopping, managing her household, and balancing the activities on her calendar.  I’ve found that it can be nearly impossible to arrange a meet-up with other homeschooling families.  Because schedules are so flexible, our time slots can fill quickly, leaving little time for spontaneous get-togethers.  It might be easier to arrange a meeting with the President than to fit into another homeschooler’s booked-solid schedule.

It’s difficult to be involved in outside activities when you have a large entourage.  I would love to be more involved in church and community activities, but most don’t appreciate my entourage or they don’t offer any child-care options for school-aged children.  I have to turn down lunch dates with friends, Bible studies, various hobbies, and service activities because I don’t have child care options.

Homeschooling is not the “normal” choice and there are many who love a chance to question your decision, challenge your methods, and generally try to make you feel terrible.  It’s so painful to stand in the face of harsh opposition and when you meet that outspoken opponent, you can feel very alone in your journey.

I have also learned that there are many types of homeschoolers.  And some homeschoolers and homeschool groups can be rather exclusive if you don’t fit their mold.  It’s true.  Homeschoolers are not always nice to their own kind.  In the times, when I’ve met homeschoolers who are radically different, I’ve felt awkward and I’ve even been snubbed.  How painful to be given the cold-shoulder by someone who should understand the challenges you face!

The homeschool journey is a difficult one.  You’re going against the cultural norm, you’re sacrificing a great deal of your own time, you’re in the trenches and shouldering a huge responsibility, and you can sometimes lose sight of yourself and wonder if you’re going it alone.  And in those moments you can feel an intense loneliness.  No one warned me about this when I started our journey.

While my kids are wonderfully funny little people, they are not a substitute for mom-to-mom time.  I’ve been on the wait-listed for get-togethers with other homeschooling families and that hurts.  I’ve had to turn down many outside opportunities for myself because now just isn’t the right season of life for me to be involved.  I’ve had to defend myself against attacks of those who disagree with my choice and judge me because they assume I’m judging them for their educational choices.  I’ve been pushed to the outer fringe of homeschooling circles because I didn’t quite meet their perfect homeschool model.  Homeschooling can sometimes leave me with an empty loneliness.  It doesn’t change our direction and I don’t question my decision.

Through it all, I’ve simply learned to to be grateful for the support of my husband and family, be thankful for the joy I have in teaching and discipling my kids, and be mindful of the Savior who reminds me that I don’t make this journey alone.

Guest Posters wanted:  the response to this post has been so great. ya’ll are great. 🙂 SO, I’m going to open up this series for GUEST POSTERS!! If you are a homeschooler and want to contribute your own “real like homeschooling” post, please email me with your post! I would like to have a picture to go with it. And if you have a blog, I will link back to you! 🙂 If you want to “grab” the picture in the top of this post, I will let you know when your post will go live and you can use this graphic as a teaser and point people here to read! I really think these will be encouraging to all of us as homeschooling mamas! I hope to share one post per week on this series!!