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I was blessed to hear Norm Wakefield, of Spirit of Elijah ministries. My friend heard him last year and said that anyone with boys should listen to him.
This is the title of the workshop I attended taught by Norm Wakefield: What’s a Mom to do with Teenage Sons? And I love the subtitle most of all!! Or with HUSBANDS When they act like one. LOL! 🙂
So, I do not have a teen son. Yet. But, in his workshop, he talked a lot about a stage that boys enter between the ages of 8-12 and this is exactly where my son falls. So, this workshop was perfect for me.
Norm Wakefield shared with us that around the ages of 8-12yrs of age a son has an inborn sense that he needs to be with his dad to grow into a man. He shared the scripture from Luke 2:42-52 as an example of this in Jesus life.
- Sons have a yearning to be with their father and know that he will lead them to prepare for manhood. Girls watch to see how dad treats women/mom also. Girls need the affirmation from dad.
- When moms continue to lecture and punish their sons, this leads to shame. Mom may push to control her son through these forms of nagging and punishment and out of desperation she actually makes things worse.
- Dad MUST learn to connect with his son.
- Boys will take personally the way mom treats dad! (very interesting!)
- Dads should be open with their sons and explain that their emotions and hormones are changing and that they feel differently toward mom, that’s ok, but we still must respect her. He still has to be able to humbly accept instruction from mom, even though he is looking to dad for manhood.
- Dads, tell your sons to ask mom how their day was. Teach them how to respect her and show affection. You are teaching him how to be a husband by how you treat your wife.
- Moms, Â pray for your husband and son daily. Point your son to your husband and also to his relationship with God as father.
- There is no wound that any of us have from our fathers that God cannot heal. Do not feel hopeless about a bad father relationship.
- Like John the Baptist, moms must point their sons to Christ. We are the forerunners to Christ in our sons lives.
- Moms, have dad tell your son what they will be doing for the day in homeschool – let your son see that BOTH mom AND dad have a say in what is happening. Communicate homeschooling goals and instruction from dad so that he knows there is an authority above mom.
- Treat your son like a man and not a boy. Give him responsibilities. But do not be commanding as you do it.
- If we nag or continue to command, we are claiming that our men can’t hear from God on their own. We want our husbands and sons to learn to go to God and learn to listen to Him on their own.
- Take interest in and encourage your son in areas of personal interest. Just go and sit there and watch sports on tv if that is what your son is into. Listen to him describe the video game in great detail. Show interest even if you are bored to tears.
I was so blessed to be able to attend the Teach Them Diligently homeschool conference in Nashville last weekend. I shared about how God wanted me there and provided all the necessary items: room, ride, conference fee. And I’m so thankful. The sessions I attended were so fabulous, I wanted to share all my notes with you!!
Here are the speakers, I will go back after this series and link them all together:
- Clay & Sally Clarkson
- Pam Tebow
- Mark Hamby
- Norm Wakefield
- Deb Bell
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