Confidence in the Lord {and Christmas break 2014}

This will be the post in which I name my Word of the Year 2015.

{If you choose a word of the year, or even if you don’t, you should read the book My One Word, I wrote more about it here! GREAT for practical ways to get the most out of your word for the year!} 

However, I have to go back a little ways to catch you up. December was crazy, as I’m sure it was for you. I was soooo looking forward to Christmas break and just a time to slow down and celebrate Jesus. {Side note: my kids being off school has mostly reminded me of why I put them in school to begin with. It definitely hasn’t all been roses around here.}

We enjoyed a wonderful Christmas, though it continued stay pretty busy for us. We spent time with both sides of the family on Christmas Eve with David’s family and my family on Christmas Day. My kids had a Christmas of legos…and they were building for hours and hours into days.

But, on Monday night, December 29th, our lives forever changed. David’s dad, our kids beloved grandpa, went home to be with His Savior for all of eternity. We spent the week of New Year’s planning a memorial service, writing an obituary and going through old pictures for a slideshow. So many bittersweet moments and memories wrapped up in that week for us. Every loved one that has left this earth {including now 3 grandparents and David’s dad being closest to me} leaves me longing for heaven a little more…as well as feeling grateful for the family God has blessed me with. I’m learning a little more about grief and finding joy in it all.

Needless to say, this blog was the last thing on my mind. Realizing that God knew all along that starting the Bible in 100 Days on January 1st (with over 500 folks joining us on Facebook!!!) would coincide with all of the grieving was a comfort to me in my state of overwhelmed and grieving. Yet, I will still pretty overwhelmed. Getting a few HUNDRED friend requests with hundreds of private messages for this Bible in 100 Days, requests to be added to the group, etc. It was so crazy for me…I was constantly BLESSED and HUMBLED that so many wanted to join us. Yet, we were planning a funeral. {And yes, the sheer number of folks joining the group just goes to show that I really had NO CLUE there would be this kind of response! If I had known there was this kind of interest I would have gone about the Facebook group differently.}

I realized a few days ago that I hadn’t gotten in my few days of quiet planning for the blog and our budget. I hadn’t gotten to blog about my word of the year yet. For that matter, I still wasn’t settled on my word of the year.

And then it hit me. God ordains the days of our lives, He knew all along that I would need this added commitment to HIS WORD at THIS TIME in my life. He knew that the growing Facebook group would give me confidence that I HAD heard from the Lord. Sometimes I doubt Him, you know. Sometimes I wonder if I am hearing His voice. Sometimes I question my decisions to the point of not doing anything.

One thing I have been lacking over the years is a strong confidence in the Lord. When my confidence in myself failed, I would shy back and away from things instead of moving forward in the knowledge that the Lord was my guide. I have questioned the Lord time and time again. Insecurites wreaked havoc on all aspects of my life.

{my theme song for 2015}

But, in recent months I have felt the Lord nudging me out on a bit of a ledge…I have sensed the Lord and seen His work in my life in ways that maybe I just never noticed before. This resulted in creating my first ebook, ordering that book in print…and working towards finishing my second journal to pray the Scriptures!! It’s like God nudged me to do more than He has asked of me before. But it took faith. I wondered why anyone would want a prayer journal from me?

So, as you can see, I’m still praying for the Lord to fill me with confidence in Him. I’m still asking Him to work in me so that I can do brave things for Him. I’m still asking Him to allow me to grow confidently in who He made me to be and not wish I was someone else.

So, as I seek His will for my life in 2015, I am asking Him to make me confident in Him and through Him and because of Him. It’s nothing I’ve done, but all through Him and for Him. I’m asking Him to help me share, with confidence, the things He places on my heart. Can I do that? Can I step out in faith and share with the world the story God has given me? Can I continue to create resources that bring others closer to God and help them dig into God’s Word? Can I bravely put myself out there for the sake of His Name?

Confidence in the Lord. May it be so, Lord.