Read all the stories of learning to wait on God here.
Eighteen months ago I walked out of the church I attended for twenty years. I walked out a devastated woman. Torn apart by rejection and ugly words, my trust in people reached an all time low. I trusted no one. Christians were the most to be feared in my mind. I lost my ability to connect with others. I lost my sense of who I was. I lost my ministry I had there and my influence. I lost a piece of my support network. I was just plain LOST.
Then began the hard journey of waiting. Waiting on healing. Waiting on my life to get back to normal. Waiting on reconciliation. Waiting on my trust to come back. Waiting on my joy to return. Waiting to feel whole again. Waiting for ministry opportunities. However, I was waiting on all the wrong circumstances. I needed to wait on a Person. Little did I know that that Person was waiting on me…
He was waiting to show me the grace others had not shown me He was waiting to show me mercy. First, though, He needed to strip away all that was important {or I thought was important}. Leaving me empty-handed so my hands and heart could open to His grace. And when all was stripped away I was left with time. Time in His Word. Time in prayer. Time working through the hard emotions of healing. Time to pursue forgiveness. Time to wait on Him.
As I waited, the grace and mercy flowed. The healing began. My joy bounced back. My trust made baby steps towards others. God brought healthy people into my life who showed me love even when I was too broken to respond in kind. Words had devastated me, and yet, God was using His words as I spent time with Him each day and the words of others to build me back up. While I struggled to trust others I learned to trust Him more than ever.
In the end, the more time I spent waiting on God the more I lost. I lost my fear of man. I lost my shame. I lost my anger and bitterness. I lost my distrust. I lost my inability to stand up for myself. I was just plain LOST in His love. All along He had been waiting on me so I would wait on Him. He was waiting to love on me.
Are you in a place of devastation as I was? In need of healing? Feeling so lost that you don’t know where to turn? Sit down. Be still. Wait on Him to heal you…to change you…to love you. He is waiting to be gracious to your hurting heart. It is in the waiting on Him that you will be blessed.
Wait Only Upon God was a part of my healing. The words and concepts Candace writes about brought me a measure of peace and clarity. As I read her book I realized for the first time what God had been doing these past eighteen months. I can’t recommend her prayer journal enough for those who are in hard life circumstances. If you are struggling right now, why not take the next forty days to wait on Him? He’s waiting for you.
I can’t begin to thank you for this post. You have no idea – well, maybe, Debbie, you do, since you wrote this – just how much I needed this. Church has been painful for me. Friends have walked out when I needed them the most. Every part of my life related to church has become pain. And somehow, on Pinterest, I happened to see that this had been pinned. Every step of the way through this journey, God meets me with just the right words to encourage me to keep on walking with Him. Thank you, Debbie, for this post, and Candace, for sharing it. I needed this – desperately needed this. Thank you.
Rebekah- I am so sorry about what has happened to you. It is horrifically painful! I do know this pain and continue to struggle with it off and on. I have healed tremendously and yet I am still healing on some level. I will be praying for you as you heal. It can be a long journey, but I have had such a sweet experience with Jesus because of it. I do have resources on my blog under “Hope and Healing” ( http://unafamiliaalaskena.blogspot.com/search/label/Hope%20and%20Healing ) if you need them. And thank you for the words of encouragement. They mean so much!
I wonder too if it has anything to do with their coat? Silas is short coated so therefore (in my little thought process) he would absorb the sun better than say a St. Bernard. With the lack of sun…do you suppose he would be willing to go on the side of the garage?I might start keeping a small journal and see if I can come up with a pattern. Thanks for the idea!!
When I became engaged in 1984, I wore a Laura Ashley dress for my engagement picture. I loved seeing myself wearing it in the local paper’s announcement. It was my favorite dress! I still have a Laura Ashley wallpaper on my foyer wall, too. I used to have matching sofas, but they had to go. I still love the wallpaper! Happy Thanksgiving, Susan! When I think of holiday’s, I think of you by always pulling your books out.xx, Julie
Oh how painful the wait can be, until we give it over to The Lord! I am in the wait now. My church has gone through so many changes over the past year that I hardly know anyone anymore. Many long time members are now gone. Painful, yes…but God is in control and waiting on Him to move can be at times, difficult. But He has given me peace and joy to love without judging and to move forward. Thank you for the reminder that in the wait, we learn how to hear our Father’s still, quiet voice and move at His call.
Becky- Yes, I believe it can be painful when a church changes so much because members leave. But you are right, we need to focus on God and realize that He is in control. He has the bigger picture and knows what is best and how to bring good out of the grief. Thanks for stopping by and reading!!