UPDATE: Here are the items that I placed on my chart today. (Most of these ideas are thanks to moms on the message board I frequent!) We talked about it this morning and began implementing today at lunchtime. I must admit, one of the biggest advantages to this chart is for ME. I end up very frustrated, and thus getting angry, in “the moment” because I often can’t think of an appropriate consequence. This relieves that for me so much! I have already had to implement about 5 times today and so far so good! I haven’t even lost my cool once, hee hee!
*If you say NO to mommy or daddy…then you must pay parents 1 quarter AND say “yes m’am” 5 times
*If you hit your brother or sister…then you must pay your sibling 1 quarter AND give them a hug, apologize
*If you scream in the house…then you must go to your room for 10 minutes and cool down
*If you complain about your chores…then you must do 1 extra chore as given by mom AND recite Phil. 2:14.
*If you do not cooperate during schooltime…then you must write Phil. 2:14 5(Emily) or 10(Hannah) times
*If you tattle on your brother or sister (for something that is not dangerous)…then you must let your brother/sister choose one of your toys to play with for that day
*If you tell brother/sister you don’t like them…then you must do 1 of their chores that day (or next) AND give hug, say “I love you.”
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Some creative “punishments” for my kids…
I want to make an “If/Then” chart. The behavior in our household has gotten out of control. Here are my suggestions so far:
**If you say “no” to mommy or daddy…then you must pay them .25 (money is really big to my kids now since we have started our “allowance” program)
**If you hit your brother/sister…then you must ?? (maybe pay your bro/sis .25??)
**If you complain about your chores…then, ??(I’m thinking of adding an extra chore here, but haven’t completely thought that through)
**If you scream in the house…then, you must go to your room for 10 minutes of “cool down” time.
**If you do not cooperate during schooltime…then, ??
**If you tattle on your bro/sis…then, ?? (Help me think this through. Sometimes it is ok to “tattle” if someone is bleeding, etc. I mean really if someone kicked them hard in the stomach, I want to know that. But I don’t want them tattling everytime someone looks at them, stares at them, touches their bed, etc. How do I differentiate all that?)
These are the biggest things I want to focus on right now, but feel free to add any If/Then rules you have in your house. Or suggestions for helping me with mine. I would like to start this today…if I can get it figured out!
Sometimes what hurts them the most will also hurt you as well, like no TV for Caleb, not movies or videos, no stamps, no treats. I’ve heard of mom’s making the 2 fighting walk around the house holding hands, or hug each other. I guess consequences for each one should be different, according to what they will miss the most. Wow, good luck on this one. Should I be scared to come over this afternoon!! Love you all, Nana
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Wish I had a magic solution, but we’re constantly struggling with behavior issues at our house. I have to say my quick read of your post had me laughing as my brain substituted “tackle” for “tattle”. Maybe because there are a lot of tackles happening with my boys?
I have a friend who charges the kids for any chores they were supposed to do and she ends up doing. And, it’s not little charges. I think cleaning their room costs them $5 (and that was 3 years ago!)
Good to know everyone struggles with these things! Some of our rules: if Ansley doesn’t cooperate during school, she has to finish up the work on the weekend (when she could be outside playing, or enjoying a fun family activity). If she screams in the house (this is big around here – I can’t stand it!), she loses the privelege of talking for a set amount of time. (This drives her crazy!) This is the same rule for speaking disrespectfully. This really works for her, because she is a talker, but you could substitute something different that is more motivating for your child(ren). Tattling – I still haven’t figured that one out! Anxious to hear what you come up with – or your readers! 🙂
Candace, do you have the book “Creative Correction”? It is so terrific and is all biblically based. The author is that Lisa W? eek, can’t think of her last name Welchel? Anyway, the one who played Blaire on Facts of Life. The book has sections on everything and then how you handle it w/ scripture, punishment, etc. It is so great!!