I started reading Beth Moore’s new book, So Long, Insecurity, actually BEFORE it even came out! LOL! (she posted one chapter on the website.) So, when I received the book last week, I started in on chapter 2. My little highlighter was VERY busy, let me tell you!
Today, on the Living Proof Ministries blog, Beth Moore posted week one’s discussion questions for those of us who are following along with her online book discussion. I thought I would share here on my blog as well, in case any of you are following along…OR if any of you are led to pick up this book after hearing how good it is. 🙂 If you are anything like me, as soon as you see the TITLE to the book, you also see your name written all over it!
Here are the 2 questions that Beth Moore posted on her blog today for us to consider:
1. When was the last time you came face-to-face with our gender’s massive struggle with insecurity? Describe the setting.
My answer: the most memorable insecurity moment for me in recent weeks has been our Tuesday morning ladies Bible study. There. I said it outloud. Each week when I walk in I think silly little thoughts like, “no one likes me.” or “no one wants me here.” or “what am I thinking trying to be a LEADER at something like this?!?!” sheesh.
2. What part of the definition or description of insecurity resonated most with you and why?
My answer: well, this is very sad, but this is where my highlighter went a little crazy. Beth Moore explains in Chapter 2 different ways you may feel insecure…saying that you may not have every single one of them, but possibly just one, two or a few of them. Well, let’s just say I felt VERY insecure about how many of the insecure characteristics I was underlining!! Here are the ones that really, really described me:
*sense of self-doubt
*a deep feeling of uncertainty
*chronic self-consciousness
*lack of confidence
*anxiety about relationships (ding, ding, this one is MAJOR)
*harbors unrealistic expectations about love and relationships
*frequently and easily hurt (no comments from my husband, please!)
This quote especially got to me also, “insecurity is not the same thing as sensitivity…but make no mistake: everyone who is insecure is usually sensitive to a fault.” (another ding, ding moment. ugggg.)
Ya’ll, I am so very not proud of this. I only have felt “liberated” enough to share these things in about the past few months or so. In fact, some of these things I’ve known about myself but just haven’t been able to put into words.
To say that God has me reading this book at this time and this place is an understatement. I am trusting God to do a mighty work in my heart…because I KNOW HE CAN. It is also no mistake that I am taking the Bible Study called Breaking Free right now. And, it is also no mistake that just this week in our Breaking Free study we were making lists of our um, negative influences from our family history. Yikes, that had me depressed all over again! At least I know I come by it honest, right?!? I praise HIM that He is a God of redemption!
I can hear the angels singing…
I do want to conclude this post on a positive note. 🙂 I am so very thankful that God is showing me these things about myself. I am so very thankful to be on this journey towards freedom…towards healing…and towards a more Christ-centered thought life. The negativity in my head is just drowning and debilitating. I am praying that these things I am learning are not temporary…I know I won’t be perfected in any way, shape or form until I see Jesus face to face…but I also know He doesn’t want me to live in bondage.
One of the most encouraging parts of chapter 2 for me was the following:
“If you know Jesus Christ personally, He has chosen you, too, and has appointed you to accomplish something good. Something that matters. Something prepared for you before time began. (Eph. 2:10.)”
I hope this encourages you too…if He can use me, He can use you too. And that is my prayer…that this journey I’m on, this path He has led me down…will bring glory to His name…will show that He can take the weakest of the weak and show Himself strong and worthy.
Candace….I’m always so shocked when you speak of your insecurities. I think you are such an amazing momma, friend, wife, ….. I’m praying for you through this study, that you will come to see yourself the way those of us who love you see you, especially your Heavenly Father, who created you…fearfully and wonderfully.
Sounds like I need to get the book. Thanks for the post. I too worry that others don’t like me or that I’ve not worded things well, etc.
I really do appreciate the post and the encouragment.
Candace, we are so much alike. Now I have been able to vocalize my issues for some time but being able to do anything about it??? Not so easy. I did Breaking Free a few years ago but unfortunately it was right when I started getting really active in my faith and my first Bible Study so I mostly got a love for His Word in it and not freedom from the majority of my bondage. I did go to a few retreats that helped me break free but what God did after that threw me for a loop — He took the desire to exercise 2-3 times a day like I was completely away, as well as the desire to skip meals to feel thinner and more attractive… what resulted was a pretty big weight gain over the past few years. ALl during it I was praying and reading my Bible, watching Joyce Meyer everyday and all that but it wasn’t until the past few months that He finally started breaking me free again. I believe that what He wants from me is to begin to love myself in this body that is larger than what I think others want me to be, to love how He made me on the inside, and to focus on being healthy in mind, body and spirit.
I have started to make changes that are healthy — not extreme and unhealthy like exercise bulimia (working out so much to try to work off food and lose weight obsessively) or skipping meals or being obsessed about all of it, and I am beginning to feel a sense of self control coming back and a bit of the fog lifting. A bit of the fear of being judged by my appearance and even my behavior and simply accepting myself.
I might just have to check out this book — but let me ask you, if you had to pick one to focus on at a time, what would you recommend first? The book or the study on my own (I have the workbook and started doing week 1 again about a month ago and that was as far as I got)?
Wow, thanks for talking about this, I think I could benefit from reading this book. Thank you for sharing! Have a great week!