Thank me for the very things that are troubling you. You are on the brink of rebellion, precariously close to shaking your fist in My Face. You are tempted to indulge in just a little complaining about My treatment of you. But once you step over that line, torrents of rage and self-pity can sweep you away. The best protection against this indulgence is thanksgiving. It is impossible ti thank Me and curse me at the same time.
Thanking me for trials will feel awkward and contrived at first. But if you persist, your thankful words, prayed in faith, will eventually make a difference in your heart. Thankfulness awakens you to My presence, which overshadows all your problems. — from Jesus Calling: Enjoying Peace in His Presence
The past few weeks have been difficult. The physical and emotional symptoms I have been experiencing due to coming off the lexapro have been very frustrating. I have been tempted, again, to question God as to why He gave me this personality. I have been tempted to complain and have given into that temptation a few times. I have been tempted to give up on hoping I will ever be normal or feel “right” again. Discouragement is a battle raging within me…
Yet, God.
God is. God is with me. I have never for one moment questioned that. God gives me hope in the darkest moments. Learning to be thankful for it all is hard…but I am complaining less and God deserves all the glory. So, for Him, I continue to try and be thankful for it all…
I’m thankful for the tears.
I’m thankful for the evidence of His grace through all of this.
I’m thankful for the friends who call or email just to let me know they care.
I’m thankful for those who offer to help with suggestions, the kids, etc.
I’m thankful for depression, for it has grown the mercy in my heart for others.
I am thankful for the increased sensitivity to those around me who are hurting.
I am thankful for the hunger for Him that He is growing in me.
I am thankful for that lonely feeling that drives me to turn to Him and His Word.
I am thankful for the flowers blooming in my own yard that remind me that He makes all things new.
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