Homeschooling is hard.
Mothering is hard.
This being at home with my kids and teaching them, day in and day out, it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. In my life. Ever. And amen.
I have a confession to make to you today. I’m going to share with you something that you won’t read on many other homeschooling blogs. (because they are a lot smarter than me to not bring it up! ha!)
I don’t love it.
There, I said it. Outloud. I wish I did love it, but I don’t.
I don’t love homeschooling. Most days, I don’t enjoy it. It makes me sad to say that…but at this stage in our lives, it’s true. Back in the kindergarten & crafts stage, I did love it. I’m a former kindergarten teacher and I guess that was just my favorite age.
But now? I have had serious doubts. I have prayed and begged God to give me another option. I have actually looked into other options. But I have no peace about any other option.
All the fighting my kids do, seemingly non-stop. The middle school hormones have started. The annoying little brother has showed up big time. The arguments over clothing, food and free time options have begun. It’s not fun. I’m no good at this. And for some reason, my kids seem to have minds and opinions of their own! Ha! Who told them they could do that???
But, here is what it boils down to…
I homeschool my children because God called me to do so.
I don’t homeschool my children because I’m a good teacher. (or even better than public school teachers. I’m not.)
I don’t homeschool my children because I’m super patient.
I don’t homeschool my children because I find such joy in serving my family. (ouch)
I don’t homeschool my children because I’m so organized and just love having everything under control. (ha)
I’m not good at this. I mess up everyday. I get frustrated with my children and they see it in me. I apologize and apologize again 5 minutes later.
And, this is the verse I cling to:
“Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, ‘My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, than I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:9-10
I love my children. I truly feel blessed to be living this life. I’m so thankful. I’m thankful because God shows me my weakness and I know that I am totally and completely dependent on Him to do a good work in the hearts of my children. I continue to place my FAITH in Him and the promise He has made to me to finish what He has begun.
Click over to read all of the Real Life Homeschooling series.
Guest Posters wanted: the response to this post has been so great. ya’ll are great. 🙂 SO, I’m going to open up this series for GUEST POSTERS!! If you are a homeschooler and want to contribute your own “real like homeschooling” post, please email me with your post! I would like to have a picture to go with it. And if you have a blog, I will link back to you! 🙂 If you want to “grab” the picture in the top of this post, I will let you know when your post will go live and you can use this graphic as a teaser and point people here to read! I really think these will be encouraging to all of us as homeschooling mamas! I hope to share one post per week on this series!!