Homeschooling in the early years was a joy for me. Not easy, mind you, but I loved it. I loved planning unit studies around every subject that tickled our fancies. I loved finding a craft to match every book we read. I loved teaching my children their letters, letter sounds and starting to blend letters into words. Magical.Â
In my former life I taught kindergarten, so it makes sense that all these early years of homeschooling were where I felt comfortable and even confident.
Now, I did struggle. So, I don’t look back with rose colored glasses on those years. Depression is hard. Homeschooling with depression is really hard. But, I survived and even lived to blog about it. {grin}
As my children got older and we entered the middle school years, I knew I was going to need help. In many subjects! 2 years ago was a particularly bad year for us, my kids were fighting me on getting work done. I was tired. And I was tired of fighting with my kids. It wasn’t good for any of us.
So, last summer, we made the very difficult decision to put our kids in a small private school in our town. Overall, it was a good year. My kids grew a lot academically. I had a break and I really, really enjoyed my quiet days. I even wrote a devotional or two. I led nearly 600 people through the Bible in 100 Days. I was enjoying writing and ministering and how God filled my days.
But, for several reasons we will be back to homeschooling again in the fall!
Here is the biggest thing on my heart right now: homeschooling is not about me.
It never was. Oh, I made it about me! I whined and complained and had many bad days, struggling and crying through them. It did my kids good to answer to someone else for awhile! I believe it grew them and challenged them in ways I could not have done myself!
I’ve told lots of my friends that I don’t really WANT to homeschool again. Y’all. I’m not really saying that to be funny. If I had another option that we felt God leading us to, I would jump at it! I have cried and begged God to bring something else along. I have questioned whether we can do it again. Because fighting daily with my kids isn’t something I want to bring back into our lives.
In order to bring peace to my heart about homeschooling this fall, a few things have had to happen. I’ve had to combat a few lies that, though I’ve homeschooled for 7 years, I still tend to believe from time to time.
Lies I Have Believed About Homeschooling
I can’t homeschool because I’m not a patient person.
I can’t homeschool because I’m not super organized.
I can’t homeschool because I can’t teach math, I’m no good at it!
I don’t love being with my kids all day everyday, so how can I homeschool?
Just to set the record straight: I am not patient with my children, I was organized before I had kids {ahem,} and I’m not good at math! But thankfully, God is growing me in my mothering, and we are hiring someone to teach math! (Among other subjects.)
Also, for the record: I do not believe that homeschooling is for everyone, so don’t read my post in that light. I do believe it is what God has for us this year, and I’ve had to give myself quite a few pep talks in regards to homeschooling again. I think homeschooling is an awesome option and that many families don’t try it that it COULD be good for, but I’m not saying everyone. 🙂 I have a hard enough time parenting my own children, don’t hear me trying to tell you how to parent yours! LOL!
The Truth About Homeschooling
But here is the truth that I keep coming back to…
Homeschooling is not about me.Â
God has used mothering as the largest method of sanctification in my life. He is doing that with homeschooling, too. He is slowly stripping away the parts of me that aren’t like Jesus. He is showing me how selfish I can be and helping me want to change. I don’t think this is an overnight fix. I think Jesus keeps on working on us, day in and day out, until we go meet Him in our forever home.
As I have prayed over this decision, I have felt like homeschooling is best for my kids this year. Because I believe that, I have to remind myself that this homeschooling gig just isn’t about me. It isn’t about what I want or even what I think I’m capable of. Homeschooling is about Him and what HE can do in us. His grace is sufficient. Homeschooling is making me more like Jesus.Â
Beautiful, honest post! I am praying for your year- anytime you need a pep talk, you email me! I know you can do this and I KNOW that God will not only receive the glory but provide for your every need as well! May it all be about HIM!
Thank you so much, Michele! 🙂
Thanks for this refreshingly honest post! Good lesson not just for homeschooling but for parenting in general!
Yes, Marianne, all of parenting is quite the sanctification process, yes? 🙂 Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Great post! I’ve seen/heard about many homeschool graduatios where the moms THINK it is a “reflection” of them. Was the child in Honor Society, Glee Club, Student Council, etc.. and feel they (aka the parent) needs to be HONORED for getting child into xyz (prestigious) school. But you are SOO right, isn’t not about us! Some kids will THRIVE in any environment… they are highly motivated so regardless of homeschool, private school, public school, they will “rise to the cream of the crop” so to speak. Other kids will do poorly in any environment.
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Thank you for this post!
We have struggled this last year and I have had many days that felt like a disaster. However, we too don’t feel there is a better option at this time for our kids.
I am kinda dreading just planning for this fall – and needed to hear that I am not the only one struggling with feeling inadequate.
Please pray that I will find the motivation and change of heart – that God would give me a spirit of love and excitement toward this upcoming year.
Prayers for you, too, Rachel!
This post really hit me in the gut. Here I am, a blogger who writes (occasionally) about homeschooling, and agonizing over the fact that I’m just not all that good at it, and because of that, I constantly struggle with wondering if my youngest would actually be better off in school.
I think there are very few moms who don’t struggle in some way with homeschooling. It’s a huge endeavor and we’re also trying to wear several other hats at the same time. We look at the struggles and wonder if we made the wrong decision. I remind myself though, that sending my kids (or at least my youngest) to school would come with it’s own long list of problems; getting up early not being the least of them!
So we will enter into another year of homeschooling. I’ll allow myself to not be perfect, but not allow myself to let my idealism cause me to do nothing. (for example, not beginning math because I don’t know what program is the best.) I pray that God will rekindle my love for homeschooling but I think that in my case, I have to make the first move. I have to dig in and do it before He can remind me how much I used to enjoy it.
Praying for you! I don’t think there is any perfect way but I pray that your family will be blessed this year.
Beth – blessings on your year as well! Thanks for commenting and letting me know I’m not alone! 🙂
Grateful He is leading you and you are listening. Parenting and homeschooling are the 2 hardest things I’ve ever done in my life. But you are right. He sanctifies us through the process, and being smack dab in the middle of His will is the best place to be, even if we don’t particularly want to be there.
Yes and yes! Love you, friend!
I found your blog through he blog “When at Home”. I’m an East TN homeschooling mom. A reluctant homeschool mom. 🙂 I feel like the least qualified person to homeschool their children but apparently God feels otherwise as this is where he has us at this time. Thank you for the encouragement that it’s not about me at all! I look forward to reading more on your blog!
We are all unqualified and inadequate…that’s why we need Jesus so badly! 🙂 I’m glad you stopped by! Feel free to send me a private message and let me know where you are in East TN, maybe we are close by!
What a beautiful post about homeschooling and about our calling in life – It’s all about Him! This will be our third year homeschooling and every year I know God is calling me to lay down my list of “I’m not enough” at His feet. The Lord shows me in my own strength I will not have peace but in HIS strength He will give me wisdom, joy, peace, knowledge of every subject, even the hard ones like Math for 6th grade…yikes! I must lean on Him evermore because without Him I can not lead my children the ways He has called me too. Thanks so much for this post…it was so refreshing!
And I love your site beautiful and your color choices are perfect 😉 My blog is also colored with pink.
Many blessings to you – daughter of the King!
Really needed this post today. I’m glad I found your blog!