Healing is in Your hands

Today our worship pastor asked me to lead Healing is in Your Hands by Christy Nockels with our congregation. I looooove this song so much. I remember the last time we sang it in church, how God really ministered to me through the words to the song.

But this week, I had a really bad week. I am still so up and down at times and Saturday was a really bad day. Really bad.

So, when I stood before our church and started singing the words, I got choked up. I wondered how in the world I could even sing the words and make it look like I believed them myself. But, I do. And I did. But, I admit, I almost felt like a hypocrite – like, do people really look at me and think I have it all together up here? Please, Lord, may it not ever be so!!

I really feel like the Lord gave this song to me today because He knew that I would need it more than anyone else there. The only thing that I didn’t like about singing it today was that I couldn’t share how truly real the words to that song have become to me.

I couldn’t tell them that it really is only by His grace that I stood there singing.

I couldn’t tell them how broken I truly am and that I do believe that healing is in His hands. I couldn’t tell them that I believe that for now, He has chosen not to heal me of this depression in my life. I couldn’t tell them that despite that fact, I praise Him still.

Since I couldn’t say all that, I just closed my eyes, tried not to cry and sang the words to my Father. I know He heard my plea and accepted my offering of praise to Him – weak and feeble though I am.