I have been very blessed to travel to several places around the world…Belize, southeast Asia, the projects of Hawaii. I’m an advocate for Compassion International. I visit the local food kitchen, I collect food for the needy. I see the need. It breaks me. It changes me.
Then, I come home and buy more stuff.
Ugh. It’s a tension in me that I don’t quite understand.
I wonder…am I just trying to please others or their opinion of me by purchasing that new sweater to wear to church? Why do I WANT when I feel the desperation of NEED in so many around the world. Why do I still want new clothes when I’ve seen those who have nothing? Why do I continue to want to make my house more lovely when I’ve hugged the necks of those who have no home?
I don’t know the answers. But, I’m asking God these questions. And asking Him to help me understand my own deceptive heart.
I worry that maybe I’m a hypocrite deep down.
For today, all I can do is pray. So, I do.
“for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know both how to have a little, and I know how to have a lot. In any and all circumstances I have learned the secret of being content—whether well fed or hungry, whether in abundance or in need. I am able to do all things through Him who strengthens me.” Philippians 4.