Many of my loyal online friends have been asking how our transition is going from homeschool to private school. Of course my real life friends are asking also, so many at church stop me to ask how it’s going. I can’t tell you HOW MUCH that means to me!! What a faithful bunch of prayer warriors I have in my life!! SO thankful!!
So, it’s kind of a loaded question. I try to answer quickly, not ever sure how long someone really wants to listen to me ramble on. But, you know I’ve always had a lot to say about homeschooling…it’s been a passion of mine…and this has been a huge change for our family. I won’t lie, it has been a HUGE CHANGE for our family. ha! Change can be good, for sure…and thankfully we are having a GREAT experience at our new school. That said, change also is hard and just takes time to navigate and learn.
Transitioning From Homeschool to Private School
We are learning a lot and growing a lot and so I wanted to share 10 things I am learning as we transition from homeschool to private school.
1. I hate waking my kids up in the mornings. One of the reasons I loved homeschooling was I truly felt my kids were getting adequate sleep. Now that they are in school, waking them from a deep sleep in the morning is hard for me. That said, we are blessed to live about 1/4th of a mile from school so often my kids can sleep til 7 or 7:15 before I have to wake them! We are also trying to get in bed a little earlier and this helps also.
2. We are going through a lot of ice. ha!! We are probably some of the last folk on this green earth to not have an ice maker in our fridge. I used to refill the ice trays 1-2 times per week. Now we are filling large water bottles for the kids every morning to take to school. I’m filling ice trays daily now! Isn’t it funny the little things like this that we notice? It’s not even a bad or good thing, just something I’ve noticed.
3. My relationship with my kids is ALREADY improving. This is one of the things I shared when I wrote about putting our kids in school to begin with. I was fighting with at least 2 of my kids daily just to get work done, chores done, etc. My INFJ doesn’t handle this well. At all. I was miserable and feeling like a failure and just flat needed a break. Now, when I pick my kids up from school I am EXCITED TO SEE THEM. Y’all. This makes me cry to write. I was so overwhelmed with feeling like I wasn’t doing a good job with homeschooling that it was taking over our relationships. Now they get in the car HAPPY and CONTENT and TALKING to me. A lot. They each start talking at once about their day and I just smile and thank the Lord for these conversations.
4. We picked the perfect school for our family. I searched from Knoxville on east and looked at every private school under the sun within about an hour radius. I looked at websites, I looked at curriculum choices, I looked at prices and I visited a few. I didn’t know right away if I could even make a choice like this, I didn’t know the right choice even right away. But, now that we have been there 2 weeks, I am 100% sure. This is only the 2nd year this school has existed. The principal was a homeschool mom herself. She has sat and listened to me cry and pour my heart out over this decision several times now. And I know that she gets it. This was soooo important to me. I wanted the school we sent our kids to know this was a HUGE deal and this decision did NOT come lightly. They continue to talk to me and answer my multitude of questions. You see, I’m used to knowing every little detail of my kids days, every little detail of their educational plan and curriculum. These folks are being SO patient with me.
5. My kids are in the right school for them academically. As a homeschooler, I had the desire and always thought we would homeschool long term. Because of that, I never worried about grade level requirements. Meaning, I didn’t say, “oh the public school learned this in 3rd grade, therefore we HAVE to learn this in 3rd grade.” Needless to say, we are kind of all over the place in various subjects. One child is great in math, a little behind in reading (but not as far behind as I had thought all those months before!!) Another child is struggling in language arts and grammar but is doing well in history and reading and doing OK in math. Another child is actually doing well across the board, and I didn’t necessarily expect that to be the case! Folks, I was too hard on myself and my kids as a homeschooler!! I literally thought I was failing my kids every.single.day. But, back to the school, they are MEETING my kids WHERE they are at and giving them appropriate materials to help pull them up in the areas they need it. Over half this school are former homeschoolers!! What a blessing that they are willing to do the extra work to meet my kids where they are at.
6. My house is really, really quiet. This one has thrown me off, y’all. I am an introvert. I have looooonged for quiet mornings to just have a cup of coffee and read my Bible in peace. And, don’t get me wrong, I am LOVING doing just that! But, it’s still very, very quiet. A few times I have cried because of the quiet. But, overall I think it is good…it just takes time to get used to.
7. I’m not bored. People keep asking me how I’m spending my time. So, I have several answers for that question. 1) I’m doing more housework around my home. Craziness. 2) I’m teaching piano lessons 2 days a week – and I’m also doing a lot of searching and printing and trying to find fun games and make myself a BETTER piano teacher. 3) I’m going to walmart. Too much. ha! 4) Tuesdays I will be leading worship and attending our ladies Bible study at church. VERY excited to be able to do this after several years of not going. 5) Meeting people for lunch or coffee. LUXURY. 6) Taking MORNING exercise classes. I seriously used to think this was a MAJOR luxury, not because of money but because of TIME. 7) More reading – books, the Bible, online. 8) I have one small social media job (would love 1-2 more!!) and I spend 1-2 hours nearly daily on this. 9) I’m spending more time on my own blog as well. Trying to write better content, trying to learn more about how to improve, just wanting my blog to be a blessing and working toward that end.
8. My time with Jesus is precious. The Lord has been slowly and gently restoring my heart. I have been blessed to spend hours just praying and reading the Word and crying through my struggles. For me, this is such a blessing to not be rushed. My heart has needed this time desperately!
9. God isn’t finished with me yet. {Or my kids!} I can’t tell you how I was struggling with guilt and feelings of failure through the last school year. I really felt pretty hopeless — about how I was failing them as a teacher and how I would never be able to turn around all the damage done, etc etc. God is placing truth in me and helping me to hear it and speak it to myself. He is giving me Scriptures to encourage me and He is reminding me that this life is a JOURNEY. A pilgrimage. None of us has arrived. I’m so thankful for this time to allow God to restore my heart and to work on restoring my relationships with my kids.
10. Trusting God brings peace. This sounds so cliche. But this summer, more than any other time in my life, I have practiced saying, “I trust You” to God. Multiple times a day. I am training my mind to think and say those words AS SOON AS a worry creeps into my mind. Y’all. This has brought such peace beyond all understanding. Not everyone is called to homeschool. Not everyone is called to put their kids in private or public school. But, regardless of what your struggle is, I encourage you to start saying, “I trust You” through your days…ask God to help your unbelief. He will answer, friends! He is faithful!
So, that’s what I’ve been learning the past few weeks! What about you?
Candace, so excited to hear about the blessings that are coming from being obedient! I hope this is a great year of healing and growth for you all! About the ice / water bottles – we used to not have an ice maker either – not sure how I survivied! – but I would fill our water bottles about 1/4 – 1/3 of the way full of water and freeze the ice in the bottles over night. Then when I filled them with water in the morning there was already ice in there to melt through the day. Worked like a charm and so much easier than ice trays (and especially when some of those water bottles have tiny openings that don’t fit an ice cube. Just an idea. : )
Stephanie!! My goodness that is a GREAT idea! THANK YOU! 🙂 And thanks for stopping by with your well wishes. Means a lot to have all these friends that care about us!
I know this is several years old, but I absolutely NEED this right now. There are so many posts and blogs about “transitioning from public/ private school to homeschool” but you never see THIS. I absolutely needed alllll of this. Preparing the way for my girls to start soon. We have homeschooled for 8 years now.
Wonderful! So happy for you and your family that the new school is working out so well. I can empathize with your journey a little bit. We don’t homeschool, but our boys go to a private University-Model school, which is sort-of the best of both worlds. I don’t have to choose curriculum, do lesson plans, or any of that, but we get lots of time together, and I am very involved in their education. It’s great most of the time, but I struggled a lot with my oldest last year, and we seriously considered moving him to a 5-day/week school. We prayed and prayed and finally knew that God had us where He wanted us, and that it would all be OK, even if it was hard sometimes. Yesterday was our first school-at-home day for the new school year, and it went pretty well. I know there are going to be difficult days ahead, though, so I am trying to prepare myself. I’ve been reading Jesus Calling this year, and really love it. I got some comfy patio furniture for Mother’s Day, and have been enjoying sitting outside for my quiet time every morning. I had never been a morning devotional girl until this year (I used to do it at bedtime, which usually meant that it didn’t get done every day). Anyway, I’m also reading the book, How to Talk So Kids Will Listen and Listen So Kids Will Talk. I’ve been meaning to read it for years, and finally decided to jump in. I am working on the “assignment” for the first chapter, and I think it’s helping me already. I love how humble the authors are, and that they stress that learning and changing the way you react and talk to your kids takes a long time. I feel very encouraged by that because I am not setting myself up for failure by having unrealistic goals (which would be that I read the book and instantly become a better mother – ha!). 🙂 I hope you continue to have a great experience with your school. It sounds like you have a lot of things going on to stay busy. I’ve fallen into the trap before of feeling like I need to be “doing” so much because I don’t have a job. So, I don’t want to be presumptuous, but I feel like maybe I should caution you not to let yourself think that just being a mom and keeping your home isn’t enough (or let yourself believe that other people expect you to be doing more). If you want to be doing other things, and you feel lead by God to do them, then that’s great, but if you want to just focus on taking care of your home and family (even though your kids aren’t there 24/7), that is OK too. 🙂
Jenny, THANK YOU for taking the time to share with me your experience. Sounds like we are enjoying some similar mornings. 🙂 Your advice about not being busy to be busy is great. I don’t think I have that issue, in fact, I already feel TOO busy. I don’t necessarily love teaching back to back piano lessons for 7-8 hours on Mondays, but right now it is a NEED. We are using my piano teaching money to pay our tuition.
Oh, and this school we are at goes to University model once they hit high school! They meet 3 days a week, and usually teachers are there 1 other day per week to give students any extra help that is needed or kids can stay home those other 2 days. They also use one of their “free” days to serve together at a local ministry. Love that!
Anyway, thanks so much for commenting…it means a lot!!
That’s great! I have talked to a mom at our school whose oldest daughter just graduated and she feels like she is VERY prepared for college. They have another daughter who goes to a local public high school, and she said that she will probably do fine in college as well, but that the workload and managing her time will be a bigger adjustment.
I am so glad you were not put off by my comment about being busy. 🙂 I think it’s really a blessing that you have a talent that can help earn money for your family. I hope it continues to work for you!
This was very helpful to me too. Same with my family and friends they thought I wasn’t doing enough because I’m a ful time mom to my kids. I just wanted to take care of them too not that they’re little especially now with the pandemic. I chose to homeschool my boy and my little one likes it but I wanted him to go to r private school. I think he needs more focus and attention so it’s good if there are just a few kids. Plus I think it’s a safer environment there. So I also pray that this is what’s right for him. Love you’re article and thank so much.
Hi Jenny! I did a google search of sending kids to private school after homeschool and this blog post popped up. I read it and while reading through comments, yours struck me like fire. I have been so anxious about the “what now!?!?” feelings of “am I even a good wife/person if I don’t want to work while my kids are in school? Is it okay if I just want to sit and read and clean my home and do the grocery shopping and meal cooking? I don’t know why I felt like I needed validation, my husband is supportive (and we’re in a financial situation where it’s not necessary I bring in an income) but your words gave me comfort and peace. Thank you. ❤️
Your post was encouraging to me as I just put our oldest daughter – an 8th grader – back into a Christian school after homeschooling her for the last 3 years. We, too, have been blessed with how it’s gone so far. I’m still homeschooling our 6th grader, but we may put her in school next year if all continues to go well.
Enjoy these quiet mornings! 🙂
Thank you so much, Tracey!
I continue to pray for you and your awesome kids as you get adjusted to a new “normal”. I’m so thankful that you know, without any doubt, that your kids are where they are supposed to be! Love you guys!
Oh, Candace,
I could have written so much of what you wrote myself. I am at the point of wanting to put at least my 12 year old back in Christian school. I’m not sure about my 16 year old, he gets his work done pretty well, but my youngest…that’s another story. These are our two youngest. Our oldest six went through traditional school, our seventh home schooled his last two years and is working now, and this is the third year our youngest two have been home. Thank you for helping me realize I am not alone. I am calling the school tomorrow to ask how best to make this transition.
Mary Pat
Hi,
I just came across your blog. Our family will be making this same transition after this school year. I am wondering how it is still going for your family.
Paula, it is still going very well!! We have an ideal setting that is less than a mile from our home. The school is only in its 2nd year, so my kids are in classes around 6-7 kids. It has been a huge blessing, so close to homeschooling. They have worked individually with one of my kiddos that struggles in math, giving her private instruction for about an hour a day! I am so thrilled with our decision. I pray that your transition will go smoothly as well!
I am so thankful for finding your post! I have six children, and have homeschooled for nine years. long story, short, my 4 oldest children are starting public school for the first time in two weeks! it was a huge and very emotional decision to make. we cannot afford private school, so public school was my only other option. I am getting so nervous with mixed feelings the closer we get to our first day of school… I can only hope and pray that our experience goes as well as yours!
Thanks for being so candid and encouraging about your journey. Any tips on questions to ask a prospective private school? Thanks!
Hi, I just stumbled onto your blog from a google search for “transition from homeschool to private school”. I can’t tell you how much this post is speaking to me right now. I’ve homeschooled for the past 4 years, and instead of reaching a state of “flow”, I’m feeling like more of a failure with each month. My husband was always lukewarm on the idea, so we are doing it his way next year. But I’m wracked with guilt and anxiety. This post is alleviating so much of that. I’m also INFJ and have struggled so very much with what homeschooling does to my relationship with my kids. I was looking to make it better, but it seems to be getting worse. Anyway, I just want to thank you, and let you know how much I appreciate your reflections. I may print this out or bookmark it to return to when it gets real and I actually drop them off in the fall… Thank you!!!
I really appreciate this post. I homeschooled my daughter for the first 1/2 of kindergarten, and then we sent her to private for the remainder of the year. I regrouped, and tried to tackle homeschooling the following year for first grade. We are just finishing up the year now. There are truly some amazing benefits to homeschooling that I will miss, but there are unique and awesome things about her school, as well. The transition if filled with raw emotion and I feel like there’s next to no one who understands both worlds. I’m glad I found your blog, it’s comforting!
You just have no idea how this has reached me at just the right time…. up in the middle of the night, wracked with anxiety, guilt and worry…oh, SO MUCH worry… as we face get ready to send our strong-willed dtr into public high school!! How will she cope with tests and exams when memorization is so difficult for her? How will she fare when she doesn’t have me to push her because she would rather do a poor effort and just get it done rather than apply herself and complete assignments well? Will her fragile self-esteem survive if she doesn’t do well?! This child of ours, who has always been interested in the experience of school and asked to go now isn’t so sure , faced with the reality of it happening. Yet, we can’t continue to struggle at home. Lord, we need You!!!!!!!
Thank you for this. I am having a tough time. My daughter is 11 and I have decided to put her in private school next year. I have cried and prayed over this decision. She is the one who wants to go and I have come to the conclusion this is what is best for her for many reasons. I feel a little guilty because I know it is going to be hard for her, but I am also excited about changing up some things for my 9 yo son and starting more formal schooling with my 4 yo son. So I am both dreading and excited about what the next year holds for us. I still cry though. But I feel like I cry about a lot lately. Lol.
Hello. I stumbled across your blog through a Google search. I have been homeschooling for 3 years now. This is the first year where I have more than one kid to school, and the struggle is so very real. I have felt like a complete failure this year because I cannot keep up. Between their school and my own college education, I feel pulled in two different directions.
My husband retires from the military in a few months, and our plans to move out of state fell through, which has totally been God. Thanks to Him, we now have the opportunity to enroll our children in the private school at our church, who uses the same curriculum I was using at home.
I feel a huge sense of relief and peace about this decision. I, too, felt like I was not appreciating my children because I was around them 24/7, and all they seem to do is fight, yell, scream, shriek, not listen, and not do what is asked. They are great kids, but I think I am just around them too much to thoroughly appreciate how amazing they are.
My kids are extremely excited about this transition, too. While my son will repeat K5, my oldest will move on to 3rd grade. Our son will be in class with his best friend, and technically he will be right on schedule for his age.
I just feel a weight has been lifted and reading your blog reminds me that God really does know what He is doing.
Jeremiah 29:11 – “‘For I know the plans I have for you,’ declares the Lord. ‘Plans to prosper you and not to harm you. To give you hope and a future.'”
And that is exactly what He is doing. He has given me hope, now. Thank you for your blog. It certainly helped me breathe a sigh of relief.
I found this by Googling “how to get adjusted from being homeschooled to private school”
It is one month from school starting and we are debating private school. I have home educated my kids for 16 years and have already graduated 3 that are in college. Our church has a great school and it is just a debate and something we are praying about. I was happy to find this and we are in Knoxville too, so I thought that was neat!
I have been searching for this exact article. We just got the acceptance letter butting my three oldest children in private school this fall and the guilt I feel has been tearing my heart out. Guilt because I just wasn’t good at homeschooling, guilt because having 6 kids 8 and under makes homeschooling really hard, guilt because I was “abandoning” my kids for someone else to raise, guilt for all the fighting ( which I so appreciate you mentioning…I really thought it was only me facing this struggle). Maybe pride is the right term. It’s hard to admit something could be healthier for my kids than my voice 24/7.
You are the first person I’ve encountered who went from homeschool to private school. I needed someone else to tell me it’s okay to be excited, then cry, then go out for coffee. I feel like I have permission now to be happy and look forward to August.
Thank you for sharing!
Your story is just so similar to mine! I was feeling that guilt of loosing my homeschool mom identity so I was searching for someone who had been in the same boat! Thank you for sharing! I too have found to perfect School for this transition. The principal used to be a homeschool mom and they have met my kids where they are at! God has blessed and I’m so thankful! This time of year I always was thinking about what we would theoretically do the next year for school. It’s hard for me to let go my utopian views of what could have been. But my girls are thriving with friends and academic growth. I know God opened up this opportunity because it’s what they needed! And what I needed too! 🥰
Thanks for writing this post! We are currently in the position of enrolling our 3 (of 4) younger children (10, 12 & 14) into private school. I have been homeschooling now for 12 years, but feel like we all need a change. Nothing has been going wrong, and I love having my kids home, but I’m tired and I don’t feel like I am giving my kids the challenge that they probably need. Also, my 12 year old son is just begging to go to school. I feel that he will thrive under the instruction of others and the school social aspect of being around other boys his age. I also feel like now I need to step back and have some time for me, so that I can be a better mum and wife. I definitely have moments of feeling guilty, and second guessing our decision, but I need to trust that God is with them wherever they go, and that it is not me, but Him who makes them into the people they will become.
Once again, thank you for your post and encouragement, when I am feeling uncertain.